Women always have the last word!

W O R D S 

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...  
30,000 to a man's 15,000. 
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... 
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" 

   
  CREATION 
 
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; 
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" 


  WHO DOES WHAT 

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. Wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." 
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." 
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." 
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." 
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS" 


  The Silent Treatment 

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up." 
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. 

 
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. 

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT !

Why, Why, Why,...

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

 Why does someone Believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

 Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

 Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

 Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

 If people evolved from apes, Why are there still apes?

 Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

 Is there ever a day that mattresses Are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

 Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

 How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

 Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

 In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

 How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

 And my FAVORITE.... ..

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best

friends -- if they're okay, THEN ITS YOU!!!!!!!

SOME INTERSTING FACTS

A motion to table a motion to reconsider a vote to table an appeal of a ruling that a point of order was not in order against a motion to table another point of order against a motion to bring to a vote the motion to call up the resolution that would institute a rules change." 
"Adcomsubordcomphibs pac" is the longest acronym. It is a Navy term standing for Administrative Command, Amphibious Forces, Pacific Fleet Subordinate Command.

"Allah Akbar, Allah Akbar, La Allah Il Allah, La Allah Il Allah U Mohammed Rassul Allah" is heard by more people than any other sound of the human voice. This is the prayer recited by muezzins from each of the four corners of the prayer tower as Moslems all over the world face toward Mecca and kneel at sunset. It means: "God is great. There is no God but God, and Mohammed is the prophet of God."

"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

"Aromatherapy" is a term coined by French chemist René Maurice Gattefossé in the 1920's to describe the practice of using essential oils taken from plants, flowers, roots, seeds, etc., in healing.

"Asthma" and "isthmi" are the only six-letter words that begin and end with a vowel and have no other vowels between.

"Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson was the first video to air on MTV by a black artist.

"Conservationalists" & "Conversationalists" (18 letters) are the longest non-scientific transposals (word formed from another by changing its letters).

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

"Duff" is the decaying organic matter found on a forest floor.

"Fickleheaded" and "fiddledeedee" are the longest words consisting only of letters in the first half of the alphabet.

"Flushable" toilets were in use in ancient Rome.

"Fortnight" is a contraction of "fourteen nights." In the US "two weeks" is more commonly used.

"Forty" is the only number which has its letters in alphabetical order. "One" is the only number with its letters in reverse alphabetical order.

"Four" is the only number whose number of letters in the name equals the number.

"Hang on Sloopy" is the official rock song of Ohio.

"Happy Birthday" was the first song to be performed in outer space, sung by the Apollo IX astronauts on March 8, 1969.

""Kemo Sabe, meaning an all knowing one, is actually a mispronunciation by Native American of the Spanish phrase, Quien lo Sabe, meaning one who knows."

"Long in the tooth," meaning "old," was originally used to describe horses. As horses age, their gums recede, giving the impression that their teeth are growing. The longer the teeth look, the older the horse.

"Lunula" is the tip of the finger and toenail that is white. It is called this this (referring to the moon) because the end of the nail is rounded like the moon.

"Ma is as selfless as I am" can be read the same way backwards. If you take away all the spaces you can see that all the letters can be spelled out both ways.

"Mad About You" star Paul Reiser plays the piano on the show's theme song.

"One thousand" contains the letter A, but none of the words from one to nine hundred ninety-nine has an A.

"Ough" can be pronounced in eight different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough, coughing and hiccoughing thoughtfully.

"Rhythms" is the longest English word without the normal vowels, a, e, i, o, or u.

"Second string," meaning "replacement or backup," comes from the middle ages. An archer always carried a second string in case the one on his bow broke.

"Speak of the Devil" is short for "Speak of the Devil and he shall come". It was believed that if you spoke about the Devil it would attract his attention. That's why when you're talking about someone and they show up people say "Speak of the Devil."

"Stewardesses" is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.

"Tautonyms" are scientific names for which the genus and species are the same.

"Taxi" is spelled exactly the same in English, French, German, Swedish, and Portuguese.

"Teh" means "cool" in Thai. (Pronounced "tay").

"The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.

"THEREIN" is a seven-letter word that contains thirteen words spelled using consecutive letters: the, he, her, er, here, I, there, ere, rein, re, in, therein, and herein.

"Underground" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und."

$203,000,000 is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.

1 and 2 are the only numbers where they are values of the numbers of the factors they have.

1 in 5,000 north Atlantic lobsters are born bright blue.

1 kg (2.2 pounds) of lemons contain more sugar than 1 kg of strawberries.

1,525,000,000 miles of telephone wire are strung across the Unites States.

1.7 litres of saliva is produced each day. In Discovery Channel, its a quart.

10 percent of all human beings ever born are alive at this very moment.

10% of human dry weight comes from bacteria

11% of the world is left-handed.

111, 111, 111 X 111, 111, 111 = 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321

1200 equals 1 pound (72 rupees).

123,000,000 cars are being driven on highways in the United States.

166,875,000, 000 pieces of mail are delivered each year in the United States.

1959's A Raisin in the Sun was the first play by a black woman to be produced on Broadway.

2 and 5 are the only prime numbers that end in 2 or 5.

203 million dollars is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.

22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the next hour.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

25% of a human's bones are in its feet.

259200 people die every day.

27% of U.S. male college students believe life is "a meaningless existential hell."

3% of all mammals are monogamous

315 entries in Webster's 1996 dictionary were misspelled.

315 words in the 1996 Webster's dictionary were mispelled.

4 tablespoons of ketchup has about the same amount of nutrition as a ripe tomato.

40% of all people who come to a party snoop in your medicine cabinet.

40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

43.7% of all statistics are made up right on the spot

48% of astronauts experience motion sickness.

52% of Americans drink coffee.

55.1% of all US prisoners are in prison for drug offenses.

56,000,000 people go to Major League baseball games each year

67 million pounds of pesticides and about 3 million tons of fertilizer are used annually on lawns in the US.

78 rpm albums, used prior to 1948, were only capable of recording for four minutes. It wasn’t until later that year that Columbia Records introduced 33 rpm albums capable of playing 23 minutes per side.

80% of animals on earth are insects.

80% of arrested criminals are male.

In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer to whom Mickey played an apprentice was named Yensid, which is Disney spelled backward.

By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

One in ten people live on an island.

84% of a raw apple is water.

It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

85% of men who die of heartattacks during intercourse, are found to have been cheating on their wives.

85,000,000 tons of paper are used in the United States each year.

28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%.

Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson", Humphrey Bogart NEVER said "Play it again, Sam" in Casablanca, and they NEVER said "Beam me up, Scotty" on Star Trek.

90% of bird species are monogamous; only 3% of animals are.

90% of New York City cab drivers are recently arrived immigrants.

98% of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the victim.

98% of the weight of water is made up from oxygen.
99% of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as jack-o-lanterns.

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